Love Quotes

Love Quotes

The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.

~Mother Teresa

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.

~Albert Einstein

There is no surprise more magical than the surprise of being loved. It is God’s finger on man’s shoulder.

~Charles Morgan

You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover’s arms can only come later when you’re sure they won’t laugh if you trip.

~Jonathan Carroll, “Outside the Dog Museum”

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence.

~Eric Fromm

Love has no desire but to fulfill itself. To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving.

~Kahlil Gibran

Infatuation is when you think he’s as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is when you realize that he’s as sexy as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Connors, as funny as Ralph Nader, as athletic as Henry Kissinger and nothing like Robert Redford - but you’ll take him anyway.

~Judith Viorst, Redbook, 1975

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.

~W. Somerset Maugham, A Writer’s Notebook, 1949

Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.

~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Wind, Sand and Stars, 1939, translated from French by Lewis Galantière

When love is not madness, it is not love.

~Pedro Calderon de la Barca

Let your love be like the misty rains, coming softly, but flooding the river.

~Malagasy Proverb

Do I love you because you’re beautiful,Or are you beautiful because I love you?

~Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II, Cinderella

For you see, each day I love you moreToday more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.

~Rosemonde Gerard

Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense.

~Mark Overby

Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end.

~Author Unknown

Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.

~Author Unknown

Love is a sweet tyranny, because the lover endureth his torments willingly.

~Proverb

The lover is a monotheist who knows that other people worship different gods but cannot himself imagine that there could be other gods.

~Theodor Reik, Of Love and Lust, 1957

Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.

~Peter Ustinov

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.

~William Shakespeare, Mid-Summer Night’s Dream, 1595

The art of love… is largely the art of persistence.

~Albert Ellis

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law.

~Boethius, The Consolation of Philosophy, A.D. 524

Who, being loved, is poor?

~Oscar Wilde

To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness.

~Robert Brault

Shall we compare our hearts to a garden -with beautiful blooms, straggling weeds,swooping birds and sunshine, rain -and most importantly, seeds.

~Grey Livingston

Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

~Robert Heinlein

The hours I spend with you I look upon as sort of a perfumed garden, a dim twilight, and a fountain singing to it. You and you alone make me feel that I am alive. Other men it is said have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough.

~George Moore

The hardest-learned lesson: that people have only their kind of love to give, not our kind.

~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.

~Rose Franken

Love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat.

~Ben Hecht

English Love poems...

MY SECOND INNINGS

Seems like yesterday
Each time I close my eyes
Your laughter ringing my ears
Your sweet words pricks me like ice
This is felt by me only
The romantic anger in thee
The songs sung to court me
Those magic moments exceptionally
Second inning of my life
Started with your entrance
Din’t know i deserve You
But i know my love is true
No loneliness was felt in crowd
Though all eyes were only on us
Jealousy exists every where
But your arms assured me much

Would I Ever Love Again??

In the dark with the music on

i reflect on this life of mine

and the emptiness only your eyes have

that only knows how to bitch and whine
and those hands, your beautiful hands

there the only part of you i know

we connected so many times

that i almost savor every blow
and that heart of yours

that refuses to beat

and the hate in your eyes

my only defeat
how the chains you have on me

break into my skin

I’m bleeding, I’m bleeding

but only from within
and even if i were free

i'd cling just the same to you

these chains don’t need to be visible

i know what I’m trained to do
id cry and beg

but in the end i would stay

this weak heart of mine

cant bear to betray
so forever and ever

ill push and ill shove

i promise never to abandon

i wont give up on love!

You & Me-The precious moment!!

You mean the world to me

You are everything to me

Just to hold you close

To feel your loving embrace

Makes me smile and feel loved inside

You have my heart and shall keep it forever

You have the password to my soul

You are the missing piece of the puzzle that shall make me whole
I love you with all my heart

Words cannot describe how i feel

To be apart from you for just a short time

Tears away at me inside

But as soon as i see your beautiful face

And just have one bittersweet kiss

The pain inside me vanishes and is no more
I feel you are my one true love

My reason to live onWithout you I would break

Just shatter into pieces

And float away in the wind

You are the reason that i wake each day

So I hope and pray that you will stay..

I Feel U are MY True Love...

Happiness is when we feel completed

Being in love is no longer feeling defeated

What I wish for is the world to be like you

Sweet, gentle, caring and true
Now you are gone, my world is incomplete

I hope one day I will meet

Someone who can make time stand still

I hope they can make me feel
The way you made me

You set my heart free

Of course no one could replace you

My one true love will always be you....

When Will U see How much i care??

Never will I understand,

Why my love, denies my hand.

What pain, what suffering have you endured?

With my help, can you be cured?
My thoughts, my dreams, you re always there,

When will you see how much I care?

Such little time I ve spent with you,

Enough to know my love is true.
The further you drift away from me,

The more I feel I ll never be free.

Perhaps I should just let you go,

Your love maybe, I should not know?
My love and friendship is always here,

And if you should ever shed a tear,

My arms are here to hold you tight,

For I will always be your light..

Till Death do us a Part...

Forever and always, I have loved you that long

What was once just a dream has come true

For, you have lived in my dreams and are now in my heart

I have waited a lifetime for you
Each one of us has a true love, so I am told

One special person who makes us complete

From the moment I met you, I knew it was true

You are the girl of my dreams, my soul mate
Enduring and endless, our love will remain

Our hearts and our souls intertwined

Always together, we will walk hand in hand

I will be yours and you will always be mine ..

No one would ever replace U-a Promise

I was falling off the edge

I didnt see the point

in living my life

so I started to jump

only hell lays at the bottom

of that narrow cliff

but I never reached it

you grabbed me before I did

I was confused of who I was

but you took my hand

instead of calling me a freak

you held me

you took off all the make-up

the hollow eyes you saw through

opened up a person

the one I could never find

you saw my first smile

the beginning of not wanting to die

no suicide

just happiness

you poured me out

with the depressed hated anger

and filled me with these words

I never heardI love you..

My Long Lasting Love...

Every-time I close my eyes

It’s your face I see.

I don’t know what’s happening.

I guess it’s destiny..

Every-time you look my way.

My heart skips a beat.

I don’t know what this is called.

But it feels like love to me..

Every-time I go to sleep.

It’s you in my dreams.

I can’t get you out of my head.

You’re there constantly..

Too bad this feeling’s just a secret.

You don’t feel the same.

If you did, the world would be perfect.

Everything would change..

‘Cause everyday I think about you.

Missing you so bad.

Longing for the day I see you.

To get what I can’t have..

I don’t know what to do.

My heart keeps beating fast.

It is getting hard to breathe.

But my love for you will last

Can I Love U anymore??

I’m tired of pretending you’re gonna walk through,

Maybe that’s what keeps me strong when I’m falling,

Just because I know i’ll never meet someone like you,

Standing, Running, Crying, Screaming and Crawling.

I wish when I said it it would always come true,

Although i’m still waiting for that something to come,

So peace will comfort me and I will forget to love you,

But I needed you most; not just them or anyone.

No more candles around my bed just because I’m sad,

No more encouragement to be my very best,

No more happy, smiley faces just because i’m mad,

No more holding me or anything at all I guess.

Let me make one last mistake just to let it all show,

You can cover you’re eyes; but don’t walk out the door,

Have to tell you something because I can’t let you go,

Tell me how to pretend; So I don’t love you anymore.

Feel the Love...

If what they say are true,

That time heals a broken heart

.Then tell me why it’s taking so long

for the healing to start?

I’ve tried so hard to fight these feelings,

I have deep in side for you.

While telling my self each day,

I must, I must start a new.

I know I should move on,

and accept that you are gone.

But that is so darn hard to do

Cause i’m still deeply in love with you.

Tomorrow i’ll again try to forget you,

I pray to God i’ll do.

But for today I cannot seem to let go,

Of this undying love I feel for you.

Hidden Love...

Living as a dull star for years,

Never release ray of light ever,

Losing hope drowned with soul,

Shall say goodbye to tomorrow.

Ascent of sun makes changes,

Affecting others like a ranger,

Strength of it’s power never known,

Until it break a single ice stone.

Dead turned to the Sirius,

Raise the warmth of the Everest,

Shadowed itself at corona,

Absorbing it’s light at a corner.

Moving nonstop in the space,

Neglected star that off the pace,

Star’s galaxy witnesses entirety,

Bright sun sealed by obscurity..

Pain in Love...

Romeo apart of a hundred miles,

Astray from Juliet’s serenade sight,

Trigger her tears to meekly fall,

Demolishing her everglowing spirit.

Darkness clothes on Heaven rim,

As a rose breathe in dark forest,

Her aura evolve into windswept pity,

Turning into storm paralyzed entirety.

Every thought of the knight,

Swaying his sword in war,

Roaming in the aphotic forest,

Tainting the soul of rose.

Reincarnation of light,

Unclothe the holy heaven,

Solacing rose and forest,

Arise with the return of knight..

Silent Love

Unheard…

Unseen…

But there

It has always been…

Echoed

In pleasure

And pain

Again

AndAgain…
The petals

AreMy words…

The moon

Waiting on you

Is

My mystery…

The stars

Guiding

Your pathways

AreMy magic.

The beauty

AndThe sanctity

Of my lifeI offer you…
In silence

I reveal

My love…

I am the twilight

Blessing you,

I am the quiet

Shore whispering

Your name,

I am your room

Filled with moonbeams,

I am the silence

Of my own dream…

Beauty Of Love

Whenever I think of smiling,

I can’t help but see your face

And every time i hear your voice

My heart begins to race.
Your eyes send electricity down my spine

When you kiss me, my body ceases to function right

I move in slow motion

This butterfly feeling has never been so intense.
And when the butterflies in my stomach overtook me

Thoughts of you repeatedly appear

Into my brain they constantly flow

The beautiful image of me and you.
You need to know how much you complete me

the beat of your heart that calms my soul

the embrace of your arms that gives complete protection

the sound of your voice that gives me assurance with each word spoken.
You fill me, all the time,and it keeps getting better.

The very thought of you,is all that drives me.

Dance with me,and we can float away.

Let your heart be mine,and mine be yours.
I love you so much, that I cannot describe

I love you more than, the beach would love it’s sand.

I love you more than, The sun would love it’s shine.

I love more than, My heart loves to beat.
Our love gets stronger as the orange sun goes down.

The waves begin to settle all around.

Underneath the stars, on the creamy sand,

We look into each other’s eyes,

Your arms around me,
Secretly whispering, words so true,

The words of love: “I love you”.

True Love

If I’m true to myself

No one can take his place

He was the one I loved

but now he’s left without a trace
It’s been so longsince

I’ve tried to even try

At night I lay awake

telling myself not to cry
I squeeze my pillow tightand

think back to when he was here

I remember all the time

she kissed away every last fear
I just wish my memory

would let me let him go

I hide behind a smile

my feelings, I refuse to show
Trust is something I do not have

or ever give away

And when I start to talk about him

I don’t know what to say
I’m reaching out for help

or guidance from above

someone tell me what to do

when you realize there’s no such thing as TRUE LOVE...

Love At First Sight

I love you, I love you

To you I’m true

Forever and ever

I love you...

A dream made reality

Something so faint

Got so bold in few seconds

Call it love, call it fate...

Your face lights up

In the evening light

So ambient and dim

It’s like love at first sight...

I really Love U...

Every time I think of you,

I dream of you

It’s like all my fantasies coming true

Yeah, its true

I can’t hide my feelings

there’s something in the way

your heart beats that makes me crave you

I could stay forever in your arms,

It makes me the happiest girl alive

Your love for me is written all over your face

And I can see it in your amazing eyes

When you say “I love you,”

I melt and my knees get weak

I have never smiled so much in my life

It’s all because of youI love you...

I Love U...

Sweet Love,Nestle me in your arms

Of desire and promise

And listen to the sea overflowing

Delicately inside of me.

Lean your body on my soul

And read the silence and the words

I embroidered in my ecstasy and

In my pleasure when I think of you

And all the sweet things you do.

Sweet Love,Follow the wind and the flowers.

Come and satisfy my hunger.

Melt the days and the hours,

Make me forget what I regret.

I want to lose myself between reason

And magic, I want all the surprises

Your hands and eyes can bring.

I want to fly with you.

Give me wings.

Sweet Love,Decipher my enigmas,

Keep my secrets in your heart,

Let me dive in your mysteries

And shelter myself from pain

In your body and light.

I am dressed in clouds

Dancing with the butterflies

And with the stars.

I am weaving life while

I lose myself in the threads

Of this love.

True Love

True love

Never to go away

Hold on tight

The pain won’t stay
True love

Heals the broken heart

Dries the exhausted tears

And will never fall apart
True love

Penetrates so deep

Puts a sparkle in the eye

To forever keep
True loveLasting beyond the end

Two people as oneNever to bend

Internet Love

Love’s not easy on the Internet

Words of honesty is hard to melt

Love needs eyes and hands to be felt

Only hurts rest but no joy to get

Lovers cant reach through this opaque screen

Emotions and feelings are freezening

Yet they rely on net to express what is felt

When they can’t calm down the anger by caressing

Words written are easily misunderstood

Faith and trust are rarely their roots

Kissing the words is the only choice

Only fortunate lovers can hear the voice

This experience I undergo each day

But patience and faith show me the way

No matter whatever hinders my love

The truth in it reaches you like dove

Best Love Pictures....

Symbols of Love....

Heart

The heart has long been used as a symbol to refer to the spiritual, emotional, moral, and in the past also intellectual core of a human being. As the heart was once widely believed to be the seat of the human mind, the word heart continues to be used poetically to refer to the soul, and stylized depictions of hearts are extremely prevalent symbols representing love.

Best Love Story of The Month...

A Girl just about 16 years old,who never ever was attracted towards any guy....
She was not even aware of the word attraction....
She had no idea about what love can be....
The madness of love,the sadness of love,the happiness of love,ignorance of the lover,attitude of that person....
She always used to make fun of her friends who used to tell her about their feelings....
She thought no such feeling exists....
One day when she made fun of one of her friends....
Her friend cursed her that may GOD make her suffer through the same situation....
And the very next day things for her changed....
It was raining heavily....
She saw a 28year old guy walking in the street in the heavy rain fall....
And the girl who never even thought of talking to handsome guys those were mad about her....
Fell in love with the normal face man with a huge difference of age between them....
This was love at first site....
Not even knowing the name of the guy....
Thinking about him day & night....
With lot of efforts she got the contact number of that person....
And started talking to him.....
Not telling him that she was his neighbor.....
A girl who never used to tolerate attitude she got used to it.....
She was truly in love....
And was able to sense out every feeling of love.....
How ever the guy behaved she yet expressed love....
Then the day came when she had to desolation and dejection.....
As the guy she loved got married to some other girl.....
A long time has passed.....
He has a baby boy.....
But the girl is still in love with him....
She yet looks at him through her window when he comes back from his office.....
But she cant disclose her feelings anymore.....
They are unsaid silent feelings which just her heart knows....
Now she knows that there is no control on heart....
And what is love.....
What are the feelings of love.....
And love does not sees who the person is,how he/she is it just happens.....
The person leaves you but the memories of love store a place in your heart forever & ever.....

Different Emotions of Love...

There are Four different emotions of love...
1)Eroticism...
2)Platonic love...
3)Familial love...
4)Romance...

Eroticism

Eroticism is an aesthetic focus on sexual desire, especially the feelings of anticipation of sexual activity. It is not only the state of arousal and anticipation, but also the attempt through various means to incite those feelings.

History

The word "eroticism" is derived from the name of the Greek god of love, Eros, or Cupid. It is conceived as sensual love or the human sex drive. Philosophers and theologians discern four kinds of love: eros, philia, physio, and agape. Of the four, eros is considered the most egocentric, focusing on care for the self.Ancient Greek philosophy’s overturning of mythology defines in many ways our understanding of the heightened aesthetic sense in eroticism and the question of sexuality. Eros was after all the primordial god of unhinged sexual desire in addition to heteroeroticism, which is the yearning of sexual desire from the opposite sex. In the Platonic ordered system of ideal forms, Eros corresponds to the subject's yearning for ideal beauty and finality. It is the harmonious unification not only between bodies, but between knowledge and pleasure. Eros takes an almost transcendent manifestation when the subject seeks to go beyond itself and form a communion with the objectival other. The French philosopher Georges Bataille believed eroticism was a movement towards the limits of our own subjectivity and humanity, a transgression that dissolves the rational world but is always temporary.Yet an objection to eros and erotic representation is that it fosters a subject/object relationship in which the object of desire is mere projection of the needs of desiring subject. Love as eros is considered more base than philia (friendship) or agape (self-sacrificing love). But erotic engagement paradoxically individuates and de-individuates the desirer.The third kind of love, physio, is directly related with the amount of sex drive that the brain feels upon encountering an erotic moment.Some believe defining eroticism may be difficult since perceptions of what is erotic fluctuate. For example, a voluptuous nude painting by Peter Paul Rubens could have been considered erotic when it was created for a private patron in the 17th century. Similarly in the United Kingdom and United States, D. H. Lawrence's sexually explicit novel Lady Chatterley's Lover was considered obscene and unfit for publication and circulation in many nations thirty years after it was completed in 1928, but may now be part of standard literary school texts in some areas. In a different context, a sculpture of a phallus in Africa may be considered a traditional symbol of potency though not overtly erotic.

Platonic love

Platonic love, in its modern popular sense, is a non-sexual affectionate relationship. A simple example of Platonic relationships is a deep, non-sexual friendship, not subject to gender pairings and including close relatives.At the same time, this interpretation is a misunderstanding of the nature of the Platonic ideal of love which from its origin was that of a chaste but passionate love, based not on lack of erotic interest but on spiritual transmutation of the sex force, opening up vast expanses of subtler enjoyments than sex.In its original Platonic form, this love was meant to bring the lovers closer to wisdom and the Platonic Form of Beauty. It is described in depth in Plato's Phaedrus and Symposium, where the examples given refer exclusively to the love between a man and a boy. In the Phaedrus, it is said to be a form of divine madness that is a gift from the gods, and that its proper expression is rewarded by the gods in the afterlife; in the Symposium, the method by which love takes one to the form of beauty and wisdom is detailed

Familial love

Sister & Brother

In sociology, storge is a type of affinity or natural affection felt between members of a group bound by common ancestry or blood ties, or through friendship and care. Familial love can also be experienced through kindhearted teachers to their students too. The cultural ideal of familial love is one that is committed, unconditional, selfless, emotionally full, and reciprocally returned by the other.It is not necessary for anybody to be actually related by blood relationship to develop this type of love towards anyone. Simply, it can be felt towards any one with whom one is sharing one's time.

Love Between Family Members

Romance

Romance is a general term that refers to the attempt to express love with words or deeds. It also refers to a feeling of excitement associated with love. Within the context of "romantic love" relationships it usually implies an expression of one's love, or one's deep emotional desires to connect with another person, especially when that love is platonic, that is, when sexual drive is sublimated into artful expression of desire.Historically, the term "romance" originates with the medieval ideal of chivalry as set out in the Romance literature of the time

Within a relationship

Romantic love is a relative term, that distinguishes moments and situations within interpersonal relationships. There is often, initially, more emphasis on the emotions (especially those of love, intimacy, compassion, appreciation, and general "liking") rather than physical pleasure. But romantic love in the abstract sense of the term, is traditionally referred to as involving a mix of emotional and sexual desire for another as a person. However, Lisa Diamond, a University of Utah psychology professor, proposes that sexual desire and romantic love are functionally independent and also, as an additional claim to the topic, that romantic love is not intrinsically oriented to same-gender or other-gender partners; and that the links between love and desire are bidirectional as opposed to unilateral. Furthermore, Diamond does not state that one's sex has priority over another sex (a male or female) in romantic love because, as already mentioned, her theory suggests it is possible for someone who is homosexual to fall in love with someone of the opposite gender, and for someone who is heterosexual to fall in love with someone of the same gender.If one thinks of romantic love not as simply erotic freedom and expression, but as a breaking of that expression from a prescribed custom, romantic love is modern. There may have been a tension in primitive societies between marriage and the erotic, but this was mostly expressed in taboos regarding the menstrual cycle and birth.Before the 18th century, as now, there were many marriages that were not arranged, and arose out of more or less spontaneous relationships. But also after the 18th century, illicit relationships took on a more independent role. In bourgeois marriage, illicitness may have become more formidable and likely to cause tension.[citation needed] In Ladies of the Leisure Class, Bonnie G. Smith depicts courtship and marriage rituals that may be viewed as oppressive to both men and women. She writes "When the young women of the Nord married, they did so without illusions of love and romance. They acted within a framework of concern for the reproduction of bloodlines according to financial, professional, and sometimes political interests." Subsequent sexual revolution has lessened the conflicts arising out of liberalism, but not eliminated them.Anthropologists such as Claude Levi-Strauss show that there were complex forms of courtship in ancient as well as contemporary primitive societies. But there may not be evidence that members of such societies formed love relationships distinct from their established customs in a way that would parallel modern romance.Romantic love is then a relative term within any sexual relationship, but not relative when considered in contrast with custom. Within an existing relationship romantic love can be defined as a temporary freeing or optimizing of intimacy, either in a particularly luxurious manner (or the opposite as in the "natural"), or perhaps in greater spirituality, irony, or peril to the relationship. It may seem like a contradiction that romance is opposed to spirituality and yet would be strengthened by it, but the fleeting quality of romance might stand out in greater clarity as a couple explore a higher meaning.[citation needed]The cultural traditions of marriage and betrothal are the most basic customs in conflict with romance[citation needed], however it is possible that romance and love can exist between the partners within those customs. Shakespeare and Kierkegaard describe similar viewpoints, to the effect that marriage and romance are not harmoniously in tune with each other. In Measure for Measure, for example, "...there has not been, nor is there at this point, any display of affection between Isabella and the Duke, if by affection we mean something concerned with sexual attraction. The two at the end of the play love each other as they love virtue."Isabella, like all women, needs love, and she may reject marriage with the Duke because he seeks to beget an heir with her for her virtues, and she is not happy with the limited kind of love that implies. Shakespeare is arguing that marriage because of its purity can not simply incorporate romance. The extramarital nature of romance is also clarified by John Updike in his novel Gertrude and Claudius, as well as by Hamlet. It is also found in the film Braveheart, or rather in the life of Isabella of France.Romance can also be tragic in its conflict with society. Tolstoy also focuses on the romantic limitations of marriage, and Anna Karenina prefers death to being married to her fiancée. Furthermore, in the speech about marriage that is given in Kierkegaard's Either/Or, Kierkegaard attempts to show that it is because marriage is lacking in passion fundamentally, that the nature of marriage, unlike romance, is explainable by a man who has experience of neither marriage nor love.In the following excerpt, from Shakespeares Romeo and Juliet, Romeo, in saying "all combined, save what thou must combine By holy marriage" implies that it is not marriage with Juliet that he seeks but simply to be joined with her romantically. That "I pray That thou consent to marry us" implies that the marriage means the removal of the social obstacle between the two opposing families, not that marriage is sought by Romeo with Juliet for any other particular reason, as adding to their love or giving it any more meaning.
"Then plainly know my heart's dear love is set On the fair daughter of rich Capulet: As mine on hers, so hers is set on mine; And all combined, save what thou must combine By holy marriage: when and where and how We met, we woo'd and made exchange of vow, I'll tell thee as we pass; but this I pray, That thou consent to marry us to-day." --Romeo and Juliet, Act II, Scene IIRomantic love, however, may also be classified according to two categories, "popular romance" and "divine"(or "spiritual") romance. Popular romance may include but is not limited to the following types: idealistic, normal intense (such as the emotional aspect of "falling in love"), predictable as well as unpredictable, consuming (meaning consuming of time, energy and emotional withdrawals and bids), intense but out of control (such as the aspect of "falling out of love") material and commercial (such as societal gain mentioned in a later section of this article), physical and sexual, and finally grand and demonstrative. Divine (or spiritual) romance may include, but is not limited to these following types: realistic, as well as plausible unrealistic, optimistic as well as pessimistic (depending upon the particular beliefs held by each person within the relationship.), abiding (e.g. the theory that each person had a predetermined stance as an agent of choice; such as "choosing a husband" or "choosing a soul mate."), non-abiding (e.g. the theory that we do not choose our actions, and therefore our romantic love involvement has been drawn from sources outside of ourselves), predictable as well as unpredictable, self control (such as obedience and sacrifice within the context of the relationship) or lack thereof (such as disobedience within the context of the relationship), emotional and personal, soulful (in the theory that the mind, soul, and body, are one connected entity), intimate, and infinite (such as the idea that love itself or the love of a god or God's "unconditional" love is or could be everlasting, if particular beliefs were, in fact, true.)

Historical definition of romantic love

The concept of romantic love was popularized in Western culture by the game of courtly love. Troubadours in the Middle Ages engaged in (usually extramarital) trysts with women as a game created for fun - and not for marriage. Since at the time marriage had little to do with love, courtly love was a way for people to express the love not found in their marriage. "Lovers" in the context of courtly love did not refer to sex, but rather the act of emotional loving. These "lovers" had short trysts in secret, which escalated mentally, but never physically. Rules of the game were even codified. For example, De amore (or The Art of Courtly Love, as it is known in English) written in the 12th century lists such rules as "Marriage is no real excuse for not loving", "He who is not jealous cannot love", "No one can be bound by a double love", and "When made public love rarely endures".Some believe that romantic love evolved independently in multiple cultures. For example, in an article presented by Henry Gruenbaum, he argues "therapists mistakenly believe that romantic love is a phenomenon unique to Western cultures and first expressed by the troubadours of the Middle Ages".Historians believe that the actual English word "romance" developed from a vernacular dialect within the French language, meaning "verse narritve", referring to the style of speech and writing, and artistic talents within elite classes. The word was originally an adverb of sorts, which was of the Latin origin "Romanicus", meaning "of the Roman style", "like the Romans" (see Roman.) The connecting notion is that European medieval vernacular tales were usually about chivalric adventure, not combining the idea of love until late into the seventeenth century. The word "romance", or the equivalent thereof also has developed with other meanings in other languages, such as the early nineteenth century Spanish and Italian definitions of "adventurous" and "passionate", sometimes combining the idea of "love affair" or "idealistic quality."The more current and Western traditional terminology meaning "court as lover" or the general idea of "romantic love" is believed to have originated in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, primarily from that of the French culture. This idea is what has spurred the connection between the words "romantic" and "lover", thus coining the English phrase "romantic love" (i.e "loving like the Romans do".) But the precise origins of such a connection are unknown. Although the word "romance", or the equivalents thereof, may not have the same connotation in other cultures, the general idea of "romantic love" appears to have crossed cultures at one point in time or another.

Gender differences and romance

Love between opposite gender Love between same gender Love between same gender

John Gray is noted primarily for his claims that gender differences are the primary cause for many of the conflicts, problems, or issues between people of opposite sex in romantic relationships. However, in most of his material, he neglects to mention instances that are similar between parties of same sex not involved romantically. John Gray does not seem to argue for differences in training, education, personal beliefs systems, personal experiences and attributive personality traits as being a collective unit of causes toward disruptions, disputes, and conflicts in any type of relationship; rather, he focuses his theories primarily on the more traditional approach of gender based stereotypes. One factor, however, that is an observable trait dealing with gender differences is that of physical appearance. In fact, in terms of physical appearance, the concerns about attractiveness vary so widely between the sexes that it is difficult to examine the specific terms and variables common to both genders. But if we were to observe human behavior only, there are certain trait characteristics that can be viewed as identical and/or similar between opposite sexes, whether involved romantically or not. The geniality and humanness characteristic of a society, however, appear to always cross gender boundaries at some level. In Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus Gray argued for reciprocity, by focusing on gender differences. In this way he popularized the view that men and women have special emotional needs belonging to their sex, and that an understanding of these might contribute to the conditions for relationships, and so also to romance.Several MRI studies have been conducted to discover the reaction of subjects to images of an individual with whom they are in love. Scientists found that "love" activated the right ventral tegmental area (VTA) and dorsal caudate body of the brain, which are regions associated with motivation to win a reward. Sorely lacking in these studies, however, is an investigation into the ways that different genders' brains react to love.

Common practices of romance

Common practices of romance include:

• Holding hands or walking hand in hand


• Private conversations (including distant ones over the phone, by written communication or even internet)

• Kissing and hugging



• Dancing
  

  

• Eatingtogether
  
  
  
• Watching television

• Sleeping together



• Physical intimacy
  

The philosophy of romantic love

Greek philosophers and authors had many theories of love, some of which are presented in Plato's Symposium where six Athenian friends including Socrates drink wine and each give a speech praising the deity Eros. When his turn comes, Aristophanes says in his mythical speech that sexual partners seek each other because they are descended from beings with spherical torsos, two sets of human limbs, genitalia on each side, and two faces back to back. Their three forms included the three permutations of pairs of gender (i.e. one masculine and masculine, another feminine and feminine, and the third masculine and feminine) and they were split by the gods to thwart the creatures' assault on heaven, recapitulated, according to the comic playwright, in other myths such as the Aloadae. This story is relevant to modern romance partly because of the image of reciprocity it shows between the sexes. In the final speech before Alcibiades arrives, Socrates gives his encomium of love and desire as a lack of being, namely, the being or form of beauty. Deleuze linked this idea of love as a lack mainly to Freud, and Deleuze often criticized it.Attraction, often based simply on common interests, can also appear mysterious and irrational, but therapists and support groups of many kinds attempt to analyze the process. Though there are many theories of romantic love such as that of Robert Sternberg in which it is merely a mean combining liking and sexual desire, the major theories involve far more insight. For most of the 20th century, Freud's theory of the family drama dominated theories of romance and sexual relationships. This has given rise to a few counter-theories. Theorists like Deleuze counter Freud and Lacan by attempting to return to a more naturalistic philosophy.René Girard, for example, argues that romantic attraction is a product of rivalry, particularly in a triangular form, a view mostly popularized in Girard's theory of mimetic desire, controversial because of its alleged sexism. The view has to some extent supplanted its predecessor, Freudian Oedipal theory. It may find even some spurious support in the supposed attraction of women to "bad" men, i.e., implying the deflection of male aggression back toward a man and his rival, rather than their beloved. As a technique of attraction, often combined with irony, it is sometimes advised that one feign toughness and disinterest, but it can be a trivial or crude idea to promulgate to men, and it is not given with much understanding of mimetic desire in mind.Girard, in any case, downplays romance's individuality in favor of jealousy and the love triangle, arguing that romantic attraction arises primarily in the observed attraction between two others. A natural objection is that this is circular reasoning, but Girard means that a small measure of attraction reaches a critical point insofar as it is caught up in mimesis. Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream, As You Like It, and The Winter's Tale are the best known examples. Mimetic desire is often challenged by feminists, such as Toril Moi,who argue that it does not account for the woman as inherently desired.Though the centrality of rivalry is not itself a cynical view, it does emphasize the mechanical in love relations. In that sense, it does resonate with capitalism and a cynicism native to post-modernity. Romance, in this context, for example, leans more on fashion and irony, though these were important for it in less emancipated times. Sexual revolutions have brought change to these areas. Wit or irony therefore ecompass an instability of romance that is not entirely new but has a more central social role, fine-tuned to certain modern peculiarities and subversion originating in various social revolutions, culminating mostly in the 1960s.The process of courtship also contributed to Schopenhauer's pessimism, despite his own romantic success,and he argued that to be rid of the challenge of courtship would drive people to suicide with boredom. Individuals seek partners who share certain interests and tastes, while at the same time looking for a "complement" or completing of themselves in a partner, in the cliché that "opposites attract."

The psychology of love

Anthropologist Helen Fisher, Ph.D., in her book “Why We Love,” uses brain scans to show that love is the product of a chemical reaction in the brain. Norepinephrine and dopamine, among other chemicals, are responsible for excitement and bliss in humans as well as non-human animals. She concludes that these reactions have a genetic basis, and therefore love is a natural drive as powerful as hunger.Anthropologist John Townsend, in his book “What Women Want, What Men Want,” takes the genetic basis of love one step further by identifying how the sexes are different in their predispositions. His compilation of various research projects concludes that men are susceptible to youth and beauty, whereas women are susceptible to status and security. These differences are part of a natural selection process where males seek many healthy women of childbearing age which will mother progenies, whereas women seek men who are willing and able to take care of them and their children.Other researchers have focused on opposing forces in human love. Psychologist Karen Horney, M.D., in her article “The Problem of the Monogamous Ideal” indicates that the overestimation of love leads to disillusionment; the desire to possess the partner results in the partner wanting to escape; and the taboos against sex result in unfulfillment. Disillusionment plus the desire to escape plus unfulfillment result in a secret hostility, which causes the other partner to feel alienated. Secret hostility in one and secret alienation in the other cause the partners to secretly hate each other. This secret hate often leads one or the other or both to seek love objects outside the marriage or relationship.Psychologist Harold Bessell, Ph.D, in his book “The Love Test” reconciles the opposing forces noted by the above researchers and shows that there are two factors that determine the quality of a relationship. People are drawn together by a force which he calls “romantic attraction,” which is a combination of genetic and cultural factors. This force may be weak or strong, and may be felt to different degrees by each of the two love partners. The other factor is “emotional maturity,” which is the degree to which a person is capable of providing good treatment in a love relationship. Thus an immature person is more likely to overestimate love, become disillusioned, and have an affair, whereas a mature person is more likely to see the relationship in realistic terms, and act constructively to work out problems.Research by the University of Pavia suggests that romantic love lasts for about a year, and then it is replaced by a more stable form of love called companionate love.In companionate love, changes occur from the early stage of love to when the relationship becomes more established and romantic feelings seem to end. However research by the Stony Brook University in New York suggests that some couples keep romantic feelings alive for much longer.

Romance and value

Even though there often appears to be traces of romance and love being intertwined in various cultures and societies throughout history, Gary Zukav, best selling author of Seat of the Soul and Soul Stories, views romantic love as being an illusion, stating that the concept of romantic love can never be truly fulfilling. He states that "Romance is your desire to make yourself complete through another person rather than through your own inner work.", thus isolating the idea of romance from the concept of "true love." His argument is that "real love" is more beneficial than romantic involvement alone.Romantic love may, then, be a sexual love that attempts to transcend, in some cases entirely, mere needs driven by physical appearances, lust, or material and social gain. This transcending, ultimately, implies not just that personality is more essential, which could be considered a truism, and a view that might appear without much regard to virtue, ranging from the noble to the most shallow character. Rather, romance tends to strive to see, or suppose it can see, personality as attractive in a fundamentally higher sense. In some religions, all forms of love (and art) may be regarded as indirectly seeking God--and therefore adding to a relationship with God--whereas at the same time, such lesser objects of love are sometimes regarded as distinct from God and an obstacle in the path of spirituality.Not only theologians, but many philosophers debate this, especially in continental philosophy, in existentialism, and in analytic philosophy, in views such as emotivism. Things lesser than personality, however, as well as the practical aspects of personality, always play a role in romance's arousal and justification.Romance then, raises questions of emotivism (or in a more pejorative sense, nihilism) such as whether spiritual attraction, of the world, might not actually rise above or distinguish itself from that of the body or aesthetic sensibility. While Buddha taught a philosophy of compassion and love, still in his philosophy of anatman or non-self spiritual appearances are of a piece with the world and essentially empty. The contradiction between compassion and anatman seems to be a part of Buddhism. In that case a seemingly negative insight can result in very different overall views, for example if one compares Buddha and Shakespeare with Nietzsche. Kierkegaard also addressed these ideas in works such as Either/Or and Stages on Life's Way.Romantic love is contrasted with platonic love which in all usages precludes sexual relations, yet only in the modern usage does it take on a fully asexual sense, rather than the classical sense in which sexual drives are sublimated. Sublimation tends to be forgotten in casual thought about love aside from its emergence in psychoanalysis and Nietzsche. Unrequited love can be romantic, if only in a comic or tragic sense, or in the sense that sublimation itself is comparable to romance, where the spirituality of both art and egalitarian ideals is combined with strong character and emotions. This situation is typical of the period of romanticism, but that term is distinct from any romance that might arise within it.

Tragedy and other social issues of romance

The "tragic" contradiction between romance and society is most forcibly portrayed in Tolstoy's Anna Karenina, in Flaubert's Madame Bovary, and William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. The female protagonists in such stories are driven to suicide as if dying for a cause of freedom from various oppressions of marriage. Even after sexual revolutions, on the other hand, to the extent that it does not lead to procreation (or child-rearing, as it also might exist in same-sex marriage), romance remains peripheral, though it may have virtues in the relief of stress, as a source of inspiration or adventure, or in development and the strengthening of certain social relations. It is difficult to imagine such tragic heroines, however, as having such practical considerations in mind."Romantic," as implied above, has both the connotations of courtly love and urgent, mutual physical desire, or both spirituality and superficiality. A parallel division occurs in marriage, where sexual relations prepare for and harmonize with later responsibilities. In marriage this combination is considered potentially harmonious, whereas in romance taken by itself the role of spirituality tends to be discordant. The synonymous "erotic" has a more unequivocal connotation.Reciprocity of the sexes appears in the ancient world primarily in myth (where it is in fact often the subject of tragedy, for example in the myths of Theseus and Atalanta). Noteworthy female freedom or power was then the exception rather than the rule, though this is a matter of speculation and debate. At the same time Christianity has had another effect on romance, by asserting the spirituality of marriage. This is at least slightly ironic, since religion is the origin of much liberation and emancipation.Later modern philosophers such as La Rochefoucauld, Hume and Rousseau also focused on morality, but desire was central to French thought, and Hume himself tended to adopt a French worldview and temperament. Desire in this milieu meant a very general idea termed "the passions," and this general interest was distinct from the contemporary idea of "passionate" now equated with "romantic." Love was a central topic again in the subsequent movement of Romanticism, which focused on such things as absorption in nature and the absolute, as well as platonic and unrequited love in German philosophy and literature.Philosophers and authors interested in the nature of love, which may not have been mentioned in this article are Jane Austen, Stendhal, Schopenhauer, George Meredith, Proust, D. H. Lawrence, Freud, Sartre, de Beauvoir, Hemingway, Henry Miller, Deleuze and Alan Soble. Properties of romantic love include these:

• It cannot be easily controlled.


• It is not overtly (initially at least) predicated on a desire for sex as a physical act.


• If requited, it may be the basis for lifelong commitment.
  
  
  

Type of Love...

There are two types of love...
1)Impersonal love...
2)Interpersonal love...

Impersonal love

Love for goals...

A person can be said to love a country, principle, or goal if they value it greatly and are deeply committed to it. Similarly, compassionate outreach and volunteer workers' "love" of their cause may sometimes be borne not of interpersonal love, but impersonal love coupled with altruism and strong political convictions. People can also "love" material objects, animals, or activities if they invest themselves in bonding or otherwise identifying with those things. If sexual passion is also involved, this condition is called paraphilia.

Interpersonal love

Interpersonal love refers to love between human beings. It is a more potent sentiment than a simple liking for another. Unrequited love refers to those feelings of love that are not reciprocated. Interpersonal love is most closely associated with interpersonal relationships. Such love might exist between family members, friends, and couples. There are also a number of psychological disorders related to love, such as erotomania.Throughout history, philosophy and religion have done the most speculation on the phenomenon of love. In the last century, the science of psychology has written a great deal on the subject. In recent years, the sciences of evolutionary psychology, evolutionary biology, anthropology, neuroscience, and biology have added to the understanding of the nature and function of love. Interpersonal attraction is the attraction between people which leads to friendships and romantic relationships. The study of interpersonal attraction is a major area of research in social psychology. Interpersonal attraction is related to how much we like, love, dislike, or hate someone. It can be viewed as a force acting between two people that tends to draw them together and resist their separation. When measuring interpersonal attraction, one must refer to the qualities of the attracted as well as the qualities of the attractor to achieve predictive accuracy. It is suggested that to determine attraction, personality and situation must be taken into account. Repulsion is also a factor in the process of interpersonal attraction, one's conception of "attraction" to another can vary from extreme attraction to extreme repulsion.CausesMany factors leading to interpersonal attraction have been studied. The most frequently studied are: physical attractiveness, propinquity, familiarity, similarity, complementarity, reciprocal liking, and reinforcement.

Propinquity Effect

According to Rowland Miller's Intimate Relationships text, the propinquity effect can be defined as: "the more we see and interact with a person, the more likely he or she is to become our friend or intimate partner." This effect is very similar to the mere exposure effect in that the more a person is exposed to a stimulus, the more the person likes it; however, there are a few exceptions to the mere exposure effect.



Mere Exposure/Exposure Effect


As mentioned above, the mere exposure effect, also known as the familiarity principle, states that the more we are exposed to something, the more we come to like it. This applies equally to both objects and people (Miller, 2006). The few exceptions to this effect include the social allergy effect and twincest avoidance e.g John and Edward X-Factor 2009 (Miller, 2006). The social allergy effect occurs when a person's annoying habits grow worse over time, instead of growing more fond of his or her idiosyncrasies.



Similarity

The notion of “birds of a feather flock together” points out that similarity is a crucial determinant of interpersonal attraction. According to Morry’s attraction-similarity model (2007), there is a lay belief that people with actual similarity produce initial attraction. Perceived similarity develops for someone to rate others as similar to themselves in on-going relationship. Such perception is either self-serving (friendship) or relationship-serving (romantic relationship). Newcomb (1963) pointed out that people tend to change perceived similarity to obtain balance in a relationship. Additionally, perceived similarity was found to be greater than actual similarity in predicting interpersonal attraction.

Similarity in different aspects

Findings suggest that interpersonal similarity and attraction are multidimensional constructs (Lydon, Jamieson & Zanna, 1988), in which people are attracted to others who are similar to them in demographics, physical appearance, attitudes, interpersonal style, social and cultural background, personality, interests and activities preferences, and communication and social skills. A study conducted by Theodore Newcomb (1961) on college dorm roommates suggested that individuals with shared backgrounds, academic achievements, attitudes, values, and political views became friends.

1. 
   
   
   
   Physical appearance
   The matching hypothesis proposed by Goffman (1952) suggests why people become attracted to their partner. It claims that people are more likely to form long standing relationships with those who are equally physically attractive as they are. It can be represented in the following equation: physical attractiveness x the probability of acceptance[clarification needed] (Miller, 2006). The study by Walster and Walster (1969) supported the matching hypothesis by showing that partners who were similar in terms of physical attractiveness expressed the most liking for each other. Murstein (1972) also found evidence that supported the matching hypothesis: photos of dating and engaged couples were rated in terms of attractiveness. A definite tendency was found for couples of similar attractiveness to date or engage.




2. 
   
   
   
   Attitudes
   According to the ‘law of attraction’ by Byrne (1971), attraction towards a person is positively related to the proportion of attitudes similarity associated with that person. Clore (1976) also raised that the one with similar attitudes as yours was more agreeable with your perception of things and more reinforcing s/he was, so the more you like him/her. Based on the cognitive consistency theories, difference in attitudes and interests can lead to dislike and avoidance (Singh & Ho, 2000; Tan & Singh, 1995) whereas similarity in attitudes promotes social attraction (Byrne, London & Reeves, 1968; Singh & Ho, 2000). Miller (1972) pointed out that attitude similarity activates the perceived attractiveness and favorability information from each other, whereas dissimilarity would reduce the impact of these cues. The studies by Jamieson, Lydon and Zanna (1987, 1988) showed that attitude similarity could predict how people evaluate their respect for each other, and social and intellectual first impressions which in terms of activity preference similarity and value-based attitude similarity respectively. In intergroup comparisons, high attitude similarity would lead to homogeneity among in-group members whereas low attitude similarity would lead to diversity among in-group members, promoting social attraction and achieving high group performance in different tasks (Hahn & Hwang, 1999). Although attitudinal similarity and attraction are linearly related, attraction may not contribute significantly to attitude change (Simons, Berkowitz & Moyer, 1970)




3. 
   
   
   
   Social and cultural background
   Byrne, Clore and Worchel (1966) suggested people with similar economic status are likely to be attracted to each other. Buss & Barnes (1986) also found that people prefer their romantic partners to be similar in certain demographic characteristics, including religious background, political orientation and socio-economic status.




4. 
   
   
   
   Personality
   Researchers have shown that interpersonal attraction was positively correlated to personality similarity (Goldman, Rosenzweig & Lutter, 1980). People inclined to desire romantic partners who are similar to themselves on agreeableness, conscientiousness, extroversion, emotional stability, openness to experience (Botwin, Buss, & Shackelford, 1997), and attachment style (Klohnen & Luo, 2003).




5. 
   
   
   
   Interests and activities
   Activity similarity was especially predictive of liking judgments, which affects the judgments of attraction (Lydon, Jamieson & Zanna, 1988). Lydon and Zanna (1987, 1988) claimed that high self-monitoring people were influenced more by activity preference similarity than attitude similarity on initial attraction, while low self-monitoring people were influenced more on initial attraction by value-based attitude similarity than activity preference similarity.




6. 
   
   
   
   Social skills
   According to the post-conversation measures of social attraction, tactical similarity was positively correlated with partner satisfaction and global competence ratings, but was uncorrelated with the opinion change and perceived persuasiveness measures (Waldron & Applegate, 1998).
   

Reasons of spouse similarity (Watson et al., 2004)

Social homogamy refers to “passive, indirect effects on spousal similarity” (Watson et al., 2004, p.1034). The result showed that age and education level are crucial in affecting the mate preference. Because people with similar age study and interact more in the same form of the school, propinquity effect (i.e., the tendency of people to meet and spend time with those who share the common characteristics) plays a significant impact in spousal similarity.Convergence refers to an increasing similarity with time. Although the previous research showed that there is a greater effect on attitude and value than on personality traits, however, it is found that initial assortment (i.e., similarity within couples at the beginning of marriage), rather than convergence, plays a crucial role in explaining spousal similarity.Active assortment refers to direct effects on choosing someone similar as self in mating preferences. The data showed that there is a greater effect on political and religious attitudes than on personality traits. A follow-up issue on the reason of the finding was raised. The concepts of idiosyncratic (i.e., different individuals has different mate preferences) and consensual (i.e., a consensus of preference on some prospective mates to others) in mate preference. The data showed that mate preference on political and religious tend to be idiosyncratic, for example, A Catholic prefers to choose the one who is a Catholic, rather than a Buddhist. Such idiosyncratic preference produces high level of active assortment which plays a vital role in affecting spousal similarity.In summary, active assortment is the most powerful in explaining spousal similarity, whereas convergence has little evidence on showing such effect.




Effects of similarity on interpersonal attraction


Similarity has effects on starting a relationship by initial attraction to know each other. It is showed that high attitude similarity resulted in a significant increase in initial attraction to the target person and high attitude dissimilarity resulted in a decrease of initial attraction (Gutkin, Gridley & Wendt, 1976; Kaplan & Olczak, 1971). Besides, similarity also promotes relationship commitment. Study on heterosexual dating couples found that similarity in intrinsic values of the couple was linked to relationship commitment and stability (Kurdek & Schnopp-Wyatt, 1997).

Complementarity

The model of complementarity explains whether "birds of a feather flock together" or "opposites attract".Studies show that complementary interaction between two partners increases their attractiveness to each other (Nowicki and Manheim, 1991). Complementary partners preferred closer interpersonal relationship than non-complementary ones (Nowicki & Manheim,1991). Couples who reported the highest level of loving and harmonious relationship were more dissimilar in dominance than couples who scored lower in relationship quality. (Markey & Markey (2007)).Mathes and Moore (1985) found that people were more attracted to peers approximating to their ideal self than to those who did not. Specifically, low self-esteem individuals appeared more likely to desire a complementary relationship than high self-esteem people. We are attracted to people who complement to us because this allows us to maintain our preferred style of behavior (Markey & Markey (2007), and through interaction with someone who complements our own behavior, we are likely to have a sense of self-validation and security (Carson, 1969).

Similarity or Complementarity?

Principles of similarity and complementarity seem to be contradictory on the surface (Posavac, 1971; Klohnen & Mendelsohn, 1998). In fact, they agree on the dimension of warmth. Both principles state that friendly people would prefer friendly partners. (Dryer & Horowitz, 1997)The importance of similarity and complementarity may depend on the stage of the relationship. Similarity seems to carry considerable weight in initial attraction, while complementarity assumes importance as the relationship develops over time (Vinacke, Shannon, Palazzo, Balsavage, et-al, 1988). Markey (2007) found that people would be more satisfied with their relationship if their partners differed from them, at least, in terms of dominance, as two dominant persons may experience conflicts while two submissive individuals may have frustration as neither member take the initiative.Perception and actual behavior might not be congruent with each other. There were cases that dominant people perceived their partners to be similarly dominant, yet in the eyes of independent observers, the actual behavior of their partner was submissive, in other words, complementary to them (Dryer1997). Why do people perceive their romantic partners to be similar to them despite evidence to the contrary? The reason remains unclear, pending further research.


Social Exchange Theory

People's feelings toward a potential partner are dependent on their perception of rewards and costs, the kind of relationships they deserve, and their likelihood for having a healthier relationship with someone else. Rewards are the part of a relationship that makes it worthwhile and enjoyable. A cost is something that can cause irritation like a friend overstaying his welcome. Comparison level is also taken into account during a relationship. This suggests that people expect rewards or costs depending on the time invested in the relationship. If the level of expected rewards are minimal and the level of costs is high, the relationship suffers and both parties may become dissatisfied and unhappy. Lastly, the comparison of alternatives means that satisfaction is conditional on the chance that a person could replace the relationship with a more desirable one.



Attraction = Friendship


Warren Kubitschek and Maureen Hallinan, University of Notre Dame, social psychologists who suggested that attraction is the result of the propinquity and similarity effects and the status of each party involved. Their study was about the tracking program that organizes students according to their level of ability to learn. This is mostly implemented in middle and almost all of high school. Their goal is to prove that students on the same track have a higher probability of becoming friends compared to those in different tracks. Other organizational based groupings should also follow these factors. The propinquity effect creates an ideal environment where students are in close physical proximity with each other and have the chance to build familiarity that leads to friendship. Similarity in tracking students is important because they found that track students tend to become friends with others who have the same academic achievement and expectations as themselves. They also found that students on the same level of status concerning grades will likely name them than those who are on lower level than their own. They conclude that although the factors mentioned do have great influence on friendship, they are not exclusive for organized program like tracking.



Attraction = Romantic Relationship


The triangular theory of love by Robert Sternberg is based on intimacy, passion, and commitment. Consummate love being the strongest type of love which consists of three aspects: intimacy+passion+commitment. The idea of this theory is that love can consist of one component alone or any combination of the three parts: intimacy, passion, and commitment.There are many factors taken into account when a relationship turns into love. One big factor is culture. This is a common issue among two people who come from very different cultural backgrounds. In a study done by Phillip Shavers and his colleagues, they interviewed participants from different parts of the world and found that love has "similar and different meanings cross-culturally. The Chinese participants had several different love concepts such as "sorrow-love","tenderness-pity", and "sorrow-pity". This ties into another study done by Rothbaym and his partner Tsang in 1998 in which they researched popular love songs from American and Chinese artists. The difference was that the Chinese love songs "had significantly more references to suffering and to negative outcomes than the American love songs". This may be due to beliefs that interpersonal relationships are predestined, and thus have no control over love lives.

Evolutionary theories

The evolutionary theory of human interpersonal attraction states that opposite-sex attraction most often occurs when someone has physical features indicating that he or she is very fertile. Considering that the primary purpose of conjugal/romantic relationships is reproduction, it would follow that people invest in partners who appear very fertile, increasing the chance of their genes being passed down to the next generation. This theory has been criticized because it does not explain relationships between same-sex couples or couples who do not want children, although this may have something to do with the fact that whether one wants children or not one is still subject to the evolutionary forces which produce them.Another evolutionary explanation suggests that fertility in a mate is of greater importance to men than to women. According to this theory, a woman places significant emphasis on a man's ability to provide resources and protection. The theory suggests that these resources and protection are important in ensuring the successful raising of the woman's offspring. The ability to provide resources and protection might also be sought because the underlying traits are likely to be passed on to male offspring. Critics of this theory point out that most genes are autosomal and non-sex-linked (Gould, et al.)Evolutionary theory also suggests that people whose physical features suggest they are healthy are seen as more attractive. The theory suggests that a healthy mate is more likely to possess genetic traits related to health that would be passed on to offspring. People's tendency to consider people with facial symmetry more attractive than those with less symmetrical faces is one example. However, a test was conducted that found that perfectly symmetrical faces were less attractive than normal faces. It has also been suggested that people are attracted to faces similar to their own. Case studies have revealed that when a photograph of a woman was superimposed to include the features of a man's face, the man whose face was superimposed almost always rated that picture the most attractive.[citation needed] This theory is based upon the notion that we want to replicate our own features in the next generation, as we have survived thus far with such features and have instinctive survival wishes for our children. Another (non-evolutionary) explanation given for the results of that study was that the man whose face was superimposed may have consciously or subconsciously associated the photographically altered female face with the face of his mother or other family member.[citation needed]

Increased female attraction to men in relationships

A 2009 study by Melissa Burkley and Jessica Parker of Oklahoma State University found that 59% of women stated they were interested in pursuing a relationship when presented with a (unknown to the woman) hypothetical "ideal" single man. However, when instead told that the man was already in a romantic relationship, 90% of the women stated they were interested in pursuing a romantic relationship.

Breaking up

Breaking up is the ending of a relationship whether it's a friendship or romantic relationship. There are several reasons that a relationship may come to an end. One reason derives from the equity theory (rewards and costs are equal to both parties). If a person in the relationship feels that the personal costs of being in the relationship outweigh the rewards there is a strong chance that he/she will end the relationship. This also may go for the rewards outweighing costs in some cases.